Do What’s Right Vs Do What Makes You Happy

Listening to: Nickleback’s Saving me and This is how you remind me
I can’t believe I am actually writing at 1.27am when I should be partying all night long on a Saturday night/Sunday morning. Yeah right, dream on girl. I have to say that the title to my post is rather interesting (at least to me.. Hehe..) That is one question that’s keeping me wide eyed awake on a lazy weekend. I’ve been stumped on one particular dateline which is really getting on my nerves. So I thought let’s write to forget my dilemma. If all the hurt and anger in this world can be written off in a blog, wouldn’t that be fantastic? Another wishful thinking in Becca’s fantasy realm.

Believe it or not, I suddenly miss my AGOGO (Well, its Zuliana’s term) days or my “younger” days. Ah, how youth was wasted but that was something I pondered hard upon on a calm night while Nickleback’s blasting in my ears. I missed my club outings and doing stuff people would never imagine me doing. I must insist here that I am a complete different individual compared to when I was 18. I have a sudden crave to go clubbing, drink and dance all night long with my friends. When I asked Punitha, Sheena, Chandran and Kit to go clubbing, they laughed it off and asked if I was sick! Well, maybe I’m a bit depressed and stressed but I guess that’s why all my past happy thoughts are popping up like Jack-in-the-box to medicate my soul. I thank God for giving me a good memory or people call it a memory of an elephant. It helped me tremendously in my studies and now I can even recall perfectly what happened in every agogo trips, what I was wearing, who I went with, what I drank, who was my “boyfriend” at which club trip etc. If my parents are reading this, I sure some ballistic missiles will be launched soon from Prai to UM and Joshua will be interrogating me after this. This reminds me of Yunus’s Cluster Munitions motions! I guess that’s the situation I’m gonna be in when I decided to write this.

Listening to: Pussy Cat Doll’s Sway and Buttons
I then thought, should I call up some friends in KL and as Nike says, JUST DO IT. This is where the title of my post came about. Should I do what is right: Stay home, finish my dateline and watch a DVD OR Should I do what I want and would make me very happy now: CLUBBING! As many can guess, I did what was right and what was expected of me. Haha. Here I am writing this entry. I salute people with the will and strength to say: I DON’T CARE, I WANT IT MY WAY! It takes a whole lot of guts to do what would make him/her happy rather than what’s right. At 24 years old, being the oldest sibling, a PhD candidate, being Mr. Ow’s daughter, as someone’s girlfriend and whole lot more “HUGE” label upon me, I did what was right and it’s true, I had no guts to breach the rules and commandments.

Referring to the closing phrase in my last post, I really want to live it out but I guess it stopped being relevant to me when I left the “responsibility free” age group. When we were young, we have an invisible license to do whatever and even if we get caught, we have the immunity: I’m just 17. I’m too young. I need my space. I’m learning. I don’t know. My friends do it, why not me? etc. and everyone would forgive you and you’re still an angel. If I am 18 right now, I would be in a club by now. Sadly, bound by responsibilities and sensibilities, I chose to reminisce on the past and dutifully finish up my work. Well, who says growing up would be fun? Yes, you get your pay check, stay out from mom and dad, dictate your lifestyle and all the grown up stuff. Yet I find myself wishing I was young again and doing things I can’t do now at this age. So, enjoy while you’re young.

Listening to: Rihanna’s Unfaithful and We ride
I do envy friends whom I know still living life as they did back in high school. All things have to end someday they say, and my agogo days ended pretty early. Most of you must be thinking I’m an unhappy person being where I am. To the contrary, I am happy because I know it’s the right thing to do. That makes my loved ones happy. Life is all about making sacrifices and being happy is when everyone else around you is happy. Being able to recall and reminisce about my past is good enough for me. Thank God no one in my family tree has any history of Alzheimer. Hopefully my memory will serve me good til I have grandkids and tell them that their grandma used to party like the world’s ending tomorrow. Hehe.

Bottom line is, everyone have their own set of rules to live by, bound by expectations and judgments. Doing what is right and what makes you happy can be exclusive OR if you’re blessed enough, both can be done at the same time like me! Don’t get me wrong, my life is not perfect. In this case, particularly my clubbing itch, I did what was right and I am happy with my decision. Of course some will say it’s a form of denial but at the end of the day, you yourself dictate whether you are living in denial or not.

Listening to: N Sync’s That girl, Falling and This I promise you
To end this entry, a few words of wisdom from the wise Becca (At least in her own world). Hehe.

1. Live life when you’re still young but make sure you do legal stuff and do it safely!
(Disclaimer: The content in this blog is only the writer’s expression. You should not take it seriously).
2. Be thankful and know what’s right to do in life
3. Sacrifices are necessary in life
4. Think of the consequences of every decision and if you’re up to it, then do it
5. Love yourself before loving others or want others to love you
6. Life is more than yourself; it’s everyone and everything around you
7. Happy doesn’t describe an individual but only exist when it encompasses everything connected to that individual.

Hugs and Kisses to all my friends out there. I hope everyone’s happy and doing well.

“A shout out to: SARAS! Hope to meet up with you soon. Let’s go clubbing but don’t tell Josh. Hehe”

Be happy making the right decision!
Cheers, Becca.