Ranting of a Drugged Person

As of now, I would like to call myself a coffee junkie. I ordered a hot Mocha with 2 extra shots of expresso from Starbucks to keep myself awake to finish my dateline. Now that I am done, let’s do some writing and see what a high-strung, caffeine loaded person will write at 4am in the morning. Hehe. Let’s call this post an experiment. Just 2 days ago, I had an Ultimate Mocha with 2 extra expresso shots from Coffee Bean but didn’t really work. I guess next would be Gloria Jeans’ or Dome’s. Oh o, coffee is back in business! Arrgghhh…

We have just arrived back from the Pearl of Orient at 7pm with lots of laughable events. The conference was a blooper but we did what we supposed to do for the sake of doing it (if you know what I mean). The 2 days of travelling, excursion and makan activity with the gang was relaxing and of course fun. While some of us had to attend the conference, the rest of us were discovering the wonders of Penang.

Highlight of the trip would definitely be the makan time. People will always associate Penang with good food and I am telling you that’s true. I would never agree to that previously because I refuse to believe Penang’s food can leave such huge impact that people would travel all the way up north just to eat the Asam laksa in Air Itam or the Char Keoy Teow in Lorong Selamat (I think..) or the Nasi kandar. After years of adaptation, my taste buds finally gave in and I do miss Penang food when I’m now stuck in KL. After 2 days of food, time to play double dose of badminton. Pay back time!

Well, we did raid the shops in Batu Ferringhi as well for 2 consecutive days (Hint: I can’t really say what shop, but if you know what I mean, we bought loads and loads of it! Hehe. Those who don’t, go figure/ask around). I made friends with the taukeh of the shop and now I kinda like have a member special price of “Buy 5 units free 1 unit”. Of course the entire gang benefited from this. I on the other hand, did not buy any instead bought batik skirts, many many earrings, bracelet and necklace. Hehe. I think I am developing my OCS (Obsessive Compulsive Shopping) syndrome cos CHRISTMAS’s near! YAY! Excuse to spend money! Hehe.

If I was to write about the entire trip, it’ll take me at least 2 hours. So, I’ll do it next time. But all in all, the trip was good and now I’m back to work in KL.

Lately, I developed the liking to watching hockey matches and it’s all Chandran’s fault. I do like watching live game matches and it doesn’t help when KL Hockey Stadium is just next to our UM gate. Sigh. I’m kinda addicted to it. I had just watched the match of the season which saw SAPURA VS ERNST&YOUNG where the result was 2-0, victory went to E&Y. Alas, the titans clashed. Unlike other games, field hockey is fast, constant running, sort of brutal and lots of pain involved. Ouch. Well, I must admit, to navigate that tiny yet hard as rock hockey ball with a stick and through 22 other men on the field, it’s a skill.

I did enjoy the game cos the two best teams in the Malaysia Hockey League went up against each other and drew the largest crowd thus far that I have seen in that stadium. I had SAPURA die hard fans screaming their hearts out on my left and E&Y fan club squealing their heads off behind me. I am not kidding, their love and support for their teams were ear-piercing and gave me a headache after first half. I had to put on my earphones during the second half. Hehe.

It was quite heartening to see many Malaysian fans supporting this game. The game was nerve-wrecking as both sides are trying to prove who the better team is. A few rough body contacts were made, a few players got warnings, some were given coloured cards, a few minor injuries and numerous goal attempts got the people jumping, screaming, throwing in comments, shouting and cheering. I was quite afraid that the fans will break into a fight actually and I’m stuck, right smacked in the middle of a crossfire. The passion from the fans was remarkable. I was very careful not to make any comment on any player or team cos I don’t want to get bashed up. Hehe. Game ended at 10pm and of course one team was celebrating while the other was disappointed. Let’s see what the papers will write about the game in the morning (Of course it’s just that one small column).

I tried “Googling” and “Yahooing” to know more about this game and get some better ideas on Malaysia’s team, players, the teams playing the league and general stuff. To my amazement, there’s so little information (almost none) on the field hockey team online. Even the website that’s supposedly dedicated to this game has not been updated since January 2008. One website was worse, no updates since 2003. Well, I guess it’s a pity. All I got was names of players from online newspaper. Even with their names, the search engine gave me nothing. The only players that I can name after 2 weeks of watching hockey matches are:

• Kuhan (cos my mom’s a fan),
• Megat Azrafiq (cos he makes sure people dun mess with him in any game),
• Chua Boon Huat (quite easily picked out from the rest)
• Kim and Song (cos they were shouting to each other in Korean),
• Kevinder (cos he’s a UM student)

Yup, that’s about it. I’m still confused about the 2 sets of brothers playing in SAPURA. Don’t know who’s who. Hehe. Well, I could, if MHF got some kinda info in the data bank or whatever. I can’t even get the player list of Malaysia’s team or the Junior team.

Well, that’s about my latest hobby. WATCHING field hockey matches. I gave up hockey in Primary 6 after getting one good whack on my shin that sent me right out of the field and forever and ever not play the game anymore. Hehe. So, now we watch SAHAJA.

Ok, the drugged person is going off now, caffein’s wearing off. There you go, a ranting of a coffee junkie at 4 in the morning. Will write more on Penang trip next post. Experiment completed.

Becca

Shout out(s):

YIP: WRITE UP THESIS!!!!!!!!!!

A Wedding to be Remembered

Sigh, here we go again. I have again neglected my blog and now feeling so hard to start writing. Well, I am writing this post all the way from Kuching, Sarawak (Staying in the Singgahsana Lodge, nice and quaint, highly recommended for budget tight student like me). Maybe after this I should ask for a commission for advertising the lodge. Hehe.

The obvious first. Why on earth am I in Kuching? Along with other 12 friends of mine, we flew all the way here to Kuching for my dearest friend ZULIANA RAZALI'S wedding! YAY! As of now, she is officially off the market and from now onwards shall be known as MRS DZUL-AZRIE (that's Bob). Hehe. The akad nikah which took place this evening was just emotionally overwhelming. Zuel tried her mighty best to suck in her tears every now and then but of course for emotional people like her (and myself) tears in happy (and sad) occasions are inevitable. Well, I tried my best to help her wipe away her tears and put back some powder on her face through out the ceremony. I felt so happy for both of them. After years of being together as a dating couple, 1 1/2 years as an engaged couple, they finally took the final step of sealing their commitment to each other by exchanging their marriage vows.

CONGRATULATIONS to ZULIANA and BOB!
May you both fall deeper in love with each other everyday as you journey through this life on earth together as husband and wife, and your marriage be showered with countless blessings, filled with joyous occasions, and living your devotions of being together-now-and-forever!
Lots of love, prayers and well wishes from Joshua and Rebecca.

I am thinking of writing a piece on marriage and family related stuff but not today. Hehe. I am feeling malas and blogging on a per-hour-basis-internet-usage is not so economical. Oh, I am flattered for being asked to be Zuliana's bridesmaid at her bersanding ceremony tomorrow. Hehe. So, got to go. Long day tomorrow!

Lots of love,
Becca

Me Convocation

Here are some pictures. Enjoy! It was raining.... Hehe...

Important people in my life

The Ow Clan

Josh and I

Zuliana, I and Chandran (The Boss... Hehe)

Eric

Wijen

Punitha, my roomie

Kit Wei Lim (Mrs Koo, to be soon... Hehe..) and I

Arina

With Kavitha and Catharine

The two poser boys: Benjamin and Kee Aun

Dear all,

Thank you for being with me on a truly memorable and fun day (even though it was raining). Thank you for making time and braving the rain to attend my convocation. My sincere best wishes to all of you and XOXO to all.

Love, Becca

My Adorable Nephews, Isaac and Isaias

The naughty and mischievous Piu Yi (Aunty in Cantonese) teaching Isaac the best way to eat a delicious birthday cake. Hehe. Isn't he adorable?

It was Isaias's (Isaac's Brother) 1st birthday party in McDs'.

This is Isaias! Isn't he just so cute!

Lucky

This song is so nice and romantic! Hehe. My most sincere congrats and admiration to everyone who's in love with their best friend! Hugs and kisses! Enjoy.

Lucky - Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat

Do you hear me,I'm talking to you

Across the water across the deep blue ocean

Under the open sky oh my, baby I'm trying

Boy I hear you in my dreams

I feel your whisper across the sea

I keep you with me in my heart

You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend

Lucky to have been where I have been

Lucky to be coming home again

They don't know how long it takes

Waiting for a love like this

Every time we say goodbye

I wish we had one more kiss

I'll wait for you I promise you I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend

Lucky to have been where I have been

Lucky to be coming home again

I'm lucky we're in love in every way

Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed

Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea

To an island where we'll meet

You'll hear the music, fell the air

I'll put a flower in your hair

Though the breezes through trees

Move so pretty you're all I see

As the world keeps spinning round

You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend

Lucky to have been where I have been

Lucky to be coming home again

I'm lucky we're in love in every way

Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed

Lucky to be coming home someday

A Good Month

Well, it has been a blessed and good month for me personally. As the saying goes: Calmness comes after the storm; light comes after dark. After months of anxiety episodes and frustrations, the rat year of 2008 has finally brought me to the greener pastures.

First, I had a great time of celebration in conjunction of my birthday and my graduation which were only a few days apart. Besides the fact that I was showered with lots and lots of gift, this two occasions has made me realize how blessed and lucky I am. I shared this historical moment with my loved ones and closest friends, that’s the most important part. I must thank my parents, Josh, Eric, Chandran, Zuliana, lab mates and debate mates coming to my convocation (IN THE RAIN!). Yup, it was raining and it was a wet affair. Despite the weather disappointing me, I was comforted by all the love, smiles, and warmth (and of course presents and 4 bouquets of flowers! Hehe..) that everyone showed to me.

Even in a short period of 30 minutes in the rain taking pictures, I learnt a profound lesson. I told my dad: “Dad, the people you see just now during my convocation are the only circle of friends I have in UM. Now you know your daughter is anti-social." My always quick to response and smarty pants boyfriend retorted by saying, “It doesn’t matter la, at least you know that they are your true friends.” (That’s why I call him smart @$$ sometimes.. Hehe..). I must say, these people I mentioned have played a significant role in my life, be it friendship, guidance, advice, fun, care, love or support. I am truly blessed for having such great people in my life. In conclusion, that was the highlight, birthday and graduation; you don’t get that many times in your life. Hehe. (Actually, I am hoping for one more in 3 years’ time).

Secondly, I finally got a scholarship, thank God. The moment I saw an email subject in my inbox that read: SKIM BIASISWAZAH UNIVERSITI MALAYA (SBUM); my heart skipped a beat, not knowing the outcome of my application. I took a deep breathe and opened the mail and thankfully my application went through and as of now, I have submitted the contract and officially registered as a PhD student. Oh no, I’m a student again L and this time no semester breaks! AAAArrrggghhhhh….
On top of this good turn, I was offered an interview for another scholarship, the Yang Di Pertuan Agong Scholarship by JPA. I thank God for opening doors as I make the transition into postgraduate studies. Of course, the decision of choosing only one will be tricky and delicate. As we know, contracts come with clauses, rules, regulations and agreements. Oh, BTW, as a student you can only have ONE scholarship/allowance source at one time. Now that I have signed a contract, if I happen to get the YDPA scholarship, sure got lots of procedures and repercussions. I am just hoping for the best.

Third, work seems to be going well. I know this won’t sound interesting to some but the crop I am working on for my PhD is being very co-operative. The most worrying part of my project was the molecular work and getting good DNA out of the fruit which has 80% water content. Usually, it is very difficult and almost unfeasible to extract good DNA samples from fruits/crops with a high content of water but looks like this problem is not in my sample! Hehe. There’s so much to learn to finish up my postgrad. It’s like doing another undergraduate degree in biotech and doing a doctorate at the same time. Well, I was a biohealth student. Sometimes it just so tiring and depressing because there’s so much to cope, learn and catch up with other lab mates but I am pressing forward as much as I can. I hope all will work out fine and finish up in 3 years’ time. Hehe.

Oh, it’s cempedak season!!!! YAY!!! I love cempedak. This love affair nearly killed me though. I bought some cempedak fruit slices on the way back to college and while I was still driving, I thought: Ok la, let’s have one slice and I put it into my mouth. Next thing I know, I was choking on the seed and flesh of the cempedak, and everything that happened in the car is a bit too disgusting to discuss in public sphere. In short, another well learnt lesson, be patient and don’t think you can manage a whole slice of cempedak while driving. I am still alive, luckily. Hehe

In conclusion to this post, God’s been good to me and I pray for His favour to be upon me always. I’ll write more next few days (HOPEFULLY! Hehe…) I wish everyone a good day and best wishes.

Lots of love,
Becca


Shout outs:

Mom and Dad: Thanks for everything, you guys are the best!

Charis and John: Thank for being the coolest siblings anyone can have.

Josh: Thanks for loving me and being a big part of my life.

Chandran: Thanks for being a great friend and a great boss to work with

Zuliana: Thanks for your unconditional and honest friendship

Lab mates and debate mates: Thanks for your friendship and continuous support

Yip: WRITE UP your paper! Hehe

The Power of the Blog

I am actually quite overwhelmed that quite a number of people do read my blog. Thank you for all the encouragements and support that some of you gave me through comments and some through personal feedbacks.

I guess it’s true when the saying goes: Words are sharper than a double edged sword.

I have come to acceptance that things don’t go the way we want it to go sometimes (most of the time actually..). The more you hope and the more you press on it, the higher risk you will get disappointed. I guess I have come to realize that everything has its own time and life is too short to get all worked up about everything.

Don’t get me wrong, I am still not giving up on the scholarship thingy and I am trying for a few more others. I am just taking a step back of not letting it get on my nerves too much. Well, all those worrying and tension took a toll on my health last few weeks coupled with not enough rest. I am just recovering from a bad throat and fatigue.

When Jud asked me why I love my Uni after I took him for a tour in my campus today, I had no answer. I guess when you love something and someone or something, there’s just no explanation. That’s the beauty of love. It supersedes logics, answers and reasoning. Sometimes the feeling is so suffocating, sometimes it takes your breathe away, sometimes it hurts, sometimes it makes you feel exhilarated, sometimes you feel like a kid, sometimes it’s silly, sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s crazy and I can go on and on. Hehe But I won’t.

So, what’s love to you? Comment, comment, jangan tak comment.. (the malay side of me.. Hehe). Actually, I can’t remember how that paragraph was intended to be about cos the ending is not what I expected. Hmmmm… Must be the lapse of not writing for some time. Sudah karat…

Life is treating me well enough and I am looking forward to my next big event in my life. I AM CONVOCATING on 7th August 2008! I know I know. No big deal right? But I am so excited. Not because I finally get my undergrad degree but there’s gonna be lots and lots of people coming to my convo! Hehe. This in an invitation for everyone I know to come for my convocation. Your presence is more than I can ask for and it’ll make this event most memorable in my life. Please come. I am making an early booking on everyone’s August the 7th schedule in advance! Hehe

Details:

Date : 7th August 2008

Time : Starts at 3pm and I should be out of the hall around 5-6pm.

Venue : UM

My thoughts are all over the place. Can’t really recollect them properly. Lots of stuff’s happening in my life right now. I’ll write again when my mind is more sane and make more sense than right now. Hehe.

Til my next post, guys and girls, I pray all’s well with everyone and my best wishes.

Hugs and Kisses,
Becca


Shout Outs:

Yip : Your deadline’s up! Pass up your report! Don't say I didn't remind you.

Joshua : I miss you

Uncle Brian : I can’t believe you actually have a facebook! TRENDY DAD! I'm impressed!

Becca's New Obsession

I'm currently addicted listening to Malay and Indon songs! They are so nice and some are exquisitely romantic!

Chef Becca's Recommendation:

1. Sempurna by Andra and the Backbone

2. Indah Lelapku by Izwan Pilus

3. Kernaku Sayang Kamu by Dygta

4. Terpesona by Glenn Fredly feat. Audy

5. Kenangan Terindah by Samson

6. Bukan Cinta Biasa by Datuk Siti Nurhaliza

Do let me know your opinion(s)!!! Put in your comment ya. Please Please Please. I wanna survey how many people actually take my words and recommendations seriously. Keke... Come on, give it a try. Just go to YouTube and listen to the songs. Some of you will thank me for introducing such lovely music. Hehe.

Shout out: Thanks Arina! Thanks for letting me have all these songs!

Everyone, have a good weekend!

Hugs and Kisses,

Becca

To Stay or Not to Stay

Some of you may already know. I am going through a tough and rough time these last few days. The sad fact of life suddenly dawned upon me when I realized that I was severely deprived of what I truly deserve after almost 4 years of hard work. After finishing my very last exam paper to complete my undergraduate, my whole being was filled with high hopes to pursue further in education. With my academic results, extra curricular activities and qualifications, I thought I was good enough to secure at least a scholarship. I was wrong, very wrong. My dad and some of his friends had suggested that I should try to apply for a place in Singapore, maybe higher chance to get in there. Isn’t that ironic? I am a sad human being as Judson would call me. I actually am very much in love with my uni and my birth country. I told myself that I would fight tooth and nail to exhaust all channels and possibilities to get a chance to remain in my motherland.

Sadly, this love affair is not reciprocal and reality is not treating me too well thus far. I got the offer letter to my PhD but without a scholarship (which I actually deserve), it is real tough to finance myself the next 3 years in KL. To make things worse, the small portion allocated is now further divided to support and fund non citizen students. This is a policy and strategy which I cannot accept and I would deem absurd. This is not the right way to spend our tax payer’s money which is meant to help and aid our deserving citizens. The best part is, the preferential treatment that exists openly right now is not only frustrating; it’s demoralizing for our local students and you’ll be amazed how easily they get the scholarship. One that I know of, didn’t even need to go for an interview. I didn’t even GET the chance to fight it out in an interview. Tell me about fairness and the new policy of “trying our best to stop brain drain”.

At the end of the day, I will not stop pursuing what I love to do which is to teach and contribute to the academia. We definitely have a pool of talented and excellent student in our very own soil but we are not even given the opportunity to showcase what we can contribute back to our own society. I’m sorry. I am beginning to think that the grass is definitely greener on the other side. It’s silly if you think about it. You actually invite (I think to some extent begged) and generously (and freely) give away scholarships while sidelining your own students, just to go up one or two notch in the academic field (barely) and then you say we’ll be on par with first world countries. Oh please. Students want to go there because of the quality of education they have, no need invitation, fight for scholarships fair and square. Big names are international without effort because they have what it takes to BE international and appeal to students across the world. You cannot run before you can crawl. Such simple concept/principle cannot be missed. Go figure.

I think if particular parties still cannot understand the gravity of the situation I am discussing here, good luck with your attempt of “trying our best to stop brain drain” epidemic. I will continue my battle of searching for a hope that will enable me to stay close to home. One day when I am all beaten and tired, I shall then give up, surrender, put up my white flag and say: I’m going now, you win. I guess that’s just how the way things work around here. I am very exhausted already right now, mentally, physically and emotionally.

Good night. Sweet dreams.

Hugs and Kisses,
Becca

A Special Thank

This entry is to thank Mr. Yunus for submitting my humble article to the Weekly Economic Times. I hope the article will further help promote debating as a whole and develope more talents in the debate arena.

http://weeklyeconomictimes.com/news-details.php?recordID=1167

Cheers,
Becca

The Little Things in Life

I thank God for:

1. My salvation
2. Being alive
3. My loving parents and awesome siblings (though they’re a prick sometimes)
4. My 80 years old grandpa and still going strong
5. My darling Joshua
6. Eyes to see my nephews growing up so fast
7. Ears to enjoy lots and lots and lots of music ( I love music..)
8. Sense to taste the sinfully amazing MARS bar (Guilty as charge, but but but I only took HALF a MARS bar.. Hehe)
9. Sense to feel Mikayla’s soft baby skin and grandpa’s wrinkled skin
10. Sense to smell the fresh toasty bread in the bakery
    
    

These are 10 things out of many others I want to thank God for. I had nothing out of ordinary day like any other 24 years old young lady would on a beautiful Sunday but I think what I pondered upon at the end of the day makes me just a lil tiny incey-wincey different. While in church, in complete faith, I thank God for His gift of salvation. Today made me realize that being alive and well and is already a super duper blessing. I’m not starving, nice clothes, a car, a great family and I’ve got most what I need (and want to certain extent).

I had the pleasure to lunch with someone very special today: My Grandpa. He’s 80 this September and I predict he’ll live up to 100! It’s nice to sit and listen to your elders reminisce about their younger days, their frustration, their pride in their children & grandkids and their hopes for the future. I sat and looked at my grandpa very carefully today. I am so sad how age has caught up on him. I’ve not done this in my life before and I am guilty. I’ve never once brought him to lunch or take a stroll in a shopping mall, buy him a Baskin Robbins ice cream or get him some food stuff or finding out his favourite dishes. But I am proud to say that I’ve done that all in a day! As I am writing this, I’m trying to hold back my tears. I know one day, he’ll join my grandma in heaven and my parents would follow suite. I am the type that don’t do well with changes, partings and deaths. Just the thought of losing my grandpa or my parents is devastating. Confession: I’m already crying right now as I am writing this entry. My grandpa told me he only finished Standard 4, went to a Chinese school, fell in love with my grandma and got married at 22, had my uncle (his first child) at 23, drove busses and lorries all his life to support his 5 children and he loves eating! I thank God for giving this opportunity to get to my grandpa much better.

All this while he was living with my 3rd aunt in Kepong and I am not going to make excuses for myself. I’ve not visited him in last 3 years even though PJ is quite bloody near, unless my mom’s in town and we go visit him or it’s Chinese New Year. I feel like a “derhaka” grandkid. He didn’t even know I have a boyfriend! Sigh. I would really like to get to know my grandpa more and not take him for granted. I’ve never got to know my other grandparents closely cos they’ve all passed when I was very young. My one last standing grandpa’s got all the lines, wrinkles, brown spots and rough hands that showed me that his life was not an easy one. I am sure he wants to live the last bits of his time on earth with his family around and show him that he’s appreciated. Good people out there, be grateful for your loved ones and even though parents/grandparents got their short comings, they brought you to life, without them you’re nothing.

As I thought about aging, losing my sanity, getting all wrinkly, losing my memories, losing my loved ones and all the losing stuff, my depression was consoled by the hope when I looked at Lemuel’s and Melanie’s gorgeous little girl, Mikayla and my two handsome toddler nephews, Isaac and Isaias. The circle of life. Some lives end while others start at the other end of the line. Their angelic faces and cute smiles tell me: “It’s ok. Life’s just like that. We will continue the legacy of the human race and try to make the world a better place for our children”. Kids are so adorable and if you actually look at them carefully, you can see YOUR hopes and dreams IN them (At least I do). I pray that the future will hold great things for my children and all other kids sleeping soundly now, snuggled tightly in their blankets.

I have crap load of stuff to do at work tomorrow. I had myself scheduled by the hour what to do and what settle first, what goes before and after lunch. Crazy Monday for me! Hehe. Signing out now. I want to write more but my entire being is calling for rest before another busy week ahead.

Hugs and Kisses.

With hopes and prayers,
Becca.

Becca Recommends: I Will Be Here by Steven Curtis Chapman

Survivor

Yay... I'm back alive and sight of familiar places made me heart go oh so joyful. The aftermath of the Arau trip is quite nasty. As I am writing this, I'm feeling aches all over and lying sickly on my bed. Being sick is so boring. Food intake is limited and brain is just too tired to do any “intelligent” stuff ie work.

The 5 days in Arau was rather traumatizing in every way possible and full of unpleasant surprises. Thanks to Arau, I’ve got 3 massive bruises on my left leg which I dunno where I got it from and it’s gonna turn very colourful soon. No skirt for the week! Oh, not to mention, mosquitoes bites as well. A whole load of them. Cis.

I’ve got something up my head to write about but I’m not up to writing as of now. Just a post to let all the good people know I’m alive and not kicking so much right now. Hehe.

Stuck on: Colbie Caillat’s Realize and Feelings Show

Shout Out: Yip, thanks for Colbie Caillat’s album! I really like her songs.
Kee Aun, thanks for that nice picture!

Cheers,
Becca

Oh No!!

Dear people,

I will be leaving for Arau in matter of minutes. Sob sob*

Wish me all the best and Hope that I will survive this few days there...

*Just being emotional*

I'm gonna miss me laptop very much. Goodbye KL. Goodbye good people.

See ya in my next post. I'll cook something up in Arau, the conventional paper-and-pen way. Hehe.

Cheers,
Becca

What is the matter with the heart, soul, mind and money?

(Some sort of a continuation of the last post)

Well, I know of certain guy friends (no personal attacks here ya, don’t take this personally) who thinks that it’s hard to keep the opposite gender satisfied and have to treat her like a queen. Let’s talk about this issue at 2.02am. Hehe. I’m awake cos I can’t sleep. Must be the travelling anxiety creeping in. Let’s get down to business.

I came across a phrase just the other day saying: Girls fall in love with their hearts and guys do that with their eyes. I think this was from someone’s blog but I can’t recall right now. I instantly retorted by saying: That’s so true. Just as I took in my next breath, two very handsome looking guy sitting beside me gave me a piercing stare that sent a shiver down my spinal cord and said: Are you kidding, it’s the other way round these days! I was taken by surprise while listening to them justifying their claims. I find this a very interesting matter to talk about. RELATIONSHIP where Venus and Mars collide. I guess in this 21st century, women’s status in the society has been hugely elevated from what was expected of us 50 years ago.

Women had moved on from being the inferior species to men where we finally realise that as any other fallible thing in this world, men can fail us, sometimes badly. Don’t start firing your nukes yet at me, let me elaborate what I mean. 100 years ago, men were looked upon as our guardians, protectors, sole provider and our world revolves around them. We’re expected to the charming wifey at home with the kids, abide by the hubby’s demands and manage all issues in the household. But as time goes by, the change in culture, revelation of education towards women has empowered us to grasp the fact that we are capable to live independently. This empowerment has led to many women deciding to live their life as singles or single parent and further equip us with a significant say when it comes to relationship. The idea of materialism further enticed the traditional ways of how a relationship should be and has brought millions of relationships into the danger zone.

I personally think that it’s true that, male and female, both guilty, are looking for material first and making relationship second place. Don’t get me wrong here. It’s perfectly OK to have a lot a lot a lot (obscenely a lot) of money but it should never be the foundation on where you build your castle. To certain extent, it can’t be denied that human beings need a sense of security. I completely understand if girls look for guys with huge car(s) and money to take them shop in Paris every month (or vice versa). Gosh, who wouldn’t want that? Here’s the question: Is that what you’re suppose to look for? If you put such high bars at the start of a relationship, it just gets higher and higher as the relationship develops, up to a point that satisfaction can longer be defined in your life and any effort less is not good enough. It is ideal to have money and love all at the same time in a relationship but it’s as close as Cinderella’s story. Of course dreams do come true for some of us but what if it doesn’t? With money comes responsibility and risk. When money fails, what then would you do? I am not generalizing that all girls (or guys) are materialistic but we have to acknowledge that it is happening. Up to this point, I apologize if I offended anyone. This is just something I’m debating with myself at 3.03am. I will give you the conclusion at the end of this post.

Let’s talk about falling in love with the eyes part. This is tricky. Most of us are blessed with a pair of corneas to differentiate colours, watch in amazement the birth of a beautiful newborn baby, stare into the star lit skyline, watch the beautiful sunset and gaze into the faces of our loved ones. This is the nice part of looking at things. We are also obliged to see bodies lying around after Nargis in Myanmar, a burnt carcass of a murder victim, the dismembered body parts of a car crash victim and a malnourished kid in Africa. This is the cruel reality part of looking at things. I will not deny, I admire and appreciate good looks (Alamak, will I get into trouble after saying this .. Hehe.. )

The perfect scenario is: Pretty girl meets handsome boy and they live happily ever after. Here’s the question: Is that what you’re suppose to look for? If you put looks ahead and as a baseline to invest/build a relationship, you’re swimming in dangerous waters. At the end of the day, you must tell yourself: I want to be more in love when my wife/husband is all wrinkly because he/she stood be me in hard times and now that I look so ugly, she/he is still faithfully sticking by me. If both in a relationship can see and envision this, it’s fairy tale coming true. But remember, just like money, good looks fail too. What if an unpredicted accident strips a body part, leaves a disfigurement or a disease came and rob the physical attributes? Will you still marry that same used to be good looking person? If you can answer yes, your partner is the luckiest girl/guy the world and I would personally commend you in the highest honour.

As I said earlier, if you’ve got all that, looks, money and solid love foundation = voila, perfecto relationship. Do contribute to the good gene pool in this world, propagate and share your blessings to the next generation. The conclusion of this post is that, be careful what you place as foundation in a relationship. Just as any building, you need the foundation first before bringing in the bricks. You cannot start building higher and higher, furnish the interior, paint the walls nicely while hoping the foundation will be solid enough for the next 99 years.

You got to be honest with yourself. What do you go for in a relationship? What kind of relationship you expect? Don’t fall with your eyes only but with your heart and mind. The eyes can be blurred but the heart and mind is the key to rational and you can’t cheat your feelings, think before going deeper. A relationship requires sacrifices, tolerance, understanding, believe, trust and care. If he/she’s the one, they’ll stay forever no matter what happens. No royal treatment or worshipping required to satisfy their need.

Love is more than a feeling, it’s your actions too. Girls, give the guy a break, he might be the next millionaire in 5 years time. You just need to believe in him. Even if it doesn’t happen, he’s the one who will protect and love you with all he’s got in this world. Guys, look beyond the cover. She might not be a supermodel but inside, she’s got the most beautiful heart & soul. No one relationship is perfect and it requires work to make sure it works out. To those single, don’t worry; everyone has someone meant for them. Maybe they are right in front of you but you just don’t see them just yet. To those with someone, don’t take the other person for granted and time to re-evaluate your relationship! (Well, I do it time and again to see where the relationship is heading to). Bottom line, be honest to yourself and think carefully!

I would like to dedicate this post to Josh. Happy Birthday darling!

With all my love, Becca.

AAawwwww... So Sweet...

Guys reading, here’s a tip to some romantic lines and once in while you should drop your macho + male egoism + cool“ness” to say some nice things to your girl. *Wink Wink*
Don’t take them for granted!

(The names of the actor and actress in this script has been substituted with a pseudonym to maintain anonymity)

Becca talking to Josh by the roadside:
Becca : Do I ever cross your mind?
Josh : No...
Becca : Do you like me?
Josh : Not really...
Becca : Do you want me?
Josh : Nope
Becca : Would you cry if I left?
Josh : Hell No...
Becca : Would you live for me?J
osh : Of coz no...
Becca : Would you do anything for me?
Josh : No...
Becca : What would you choose your life...or me
Josh : Mine of course!

Becca ran away with such shock and pain in her heart but Josh ran after her and shouted loudly....
"The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind...
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you... The reason I don't want you is because I need you...
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left me...
The reason wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you...
The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I would do everything for you...
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

- The End-

Hehe… Truthfully, if this conversation really took place one fine day between me and Josh, I would have started walking away after the fourth question!

Becca's Symphony in D(ebating) Major No. 1

When I wake up on a mundane weekday, my first thought would be, should I wake up or not to work? Still struggling to actually lug myself out of my royal chamber, I already had a conversation with myself and this is what the academicians call an intrapersonal communication. I believe the first man on earth had this very communion within him long before the existence of any symbols or language. When God finally decided to create the woman to end his misery of talking to himself everyday, this is where the revolution of interpersonal communication happened. Desperate and longing to make contact, he must have reasoned, rationalized and finally made the decision to greet his new friend. The fact that he approached her with shaky knees and merely an utterance of sound upon gazing her beauty up-close, had instituted the very art of communication.

Art has always been associated to music, melody, instruments, drawings, sculptures, poetry, movements and dance. If you think about this carefully, before Strauss or Mozart could compose a 20 page classical piece, they must have thought, let’s start with the violin playing in the key of C major. After the violin solo, let’s throw in the piano to accompany, change the key in the chorus with full percussions playing and let’s end the symphony on high notes. All musicians playing their hearts and souls out to give the audience goose bumps with lasting impressions of how they felt that night when the last note ended. As you can see here, within the creation of a master piece, there is another form of art taking place first. The art of structuring, rationalizing, convincing, expressing and reasoning to craft a piece so powerful, so intriguing, so beautiful and so lasting that their works are now immortalized in the music faculty. The art within art that I am trying to picture here is the art of expressing our thoughts and emotions. Many see that it is best to express our true feelings through color pencils, music sheets, lines that rhyme and resonance but they forget that the most powerful tool, the tongue.

Speaking your mind is the most sincere way of communication. No grand piano to accompany your words, no melody to make your lines sound nicer or using words so deep that people argue through centuries what it actually means or hide the gist of your message in a drawing that’s heavily secured in the museum and everyone has a different story to tell about it. The only problem with speaking is that not everyone knows how to do it the right way. A speech or even normal conversation has an introduction, points, examples, an ending and a conclusion just exactly how Beethoven’s Symphony No.9 was written. Everyone thinks that this is a very easy task. Just talk. Just speak. Just say. Just tell. Just write. Just read the text. Yes, talk is cheap but not in the debating world. Every word counts. Every sentence matters.

Debating is viewed as just a curricular activity and what you would do to escape the other societies that require you to work or sweat. Well, how hard can it be to just stand up and speak, right? Try this. Speak for 7 minutes on the spot about: RENDITION HAS NO PLACE IN A DEMOCRATIC GOVERNMENT or easier, WE SHOULD DO AWAY WITH STATUTORY RAPE LAW (Don’t cheat. Do not write down any points on a piece of paper or go to the internet). Unless you are or was a debater, public speaker or an experienced speaker, I am sure it can be quite a tricky task. Debate is more than cheap talks or throwing chairs across the hall when we get upset with our opposition or calling each other names like kids in first grade or deliver a 5 page prepared text. Debate is all about structure, commitment, logic, immediate responds, thinking on the spot, persuading and convincing. The objective of debating is to deliver a speech with passion, sincerity, conviction, confidence and poise to impress the judges as well as the audience to favor your arguments. It is the art of persuasion and an acquired skill.

It is sad that many graduates nowadays are not able to communicate in an acceptable manner. There are many complaints everywhere that sometimes employees cannot even effectively deliver an oral report, concisely write a report of their business trip, making a good impression during a job interview, answering the question accurately or think on the spot for alternatives. If you are a boss with hundreds or thousands of employees under your command, you would definitely know what kind of picture I am trying to paint here. If you are a teacher/lecturer, you would also agree with me. I am not trying to brag but this are the exact situations debaters are put through in every practice and tournament. Debaters are trained to be independent, confident, poised, structured, argumentative in a persuasive manner and convincing in every way which include maintaining good eye contact, gestures and body language with your listeners. You have to do all this at the same time trying to smile once in a while, tear down your opponents with smart replies to their arguments, hoping your team will win and ignoring butterflies in your stomach if you’re speaking in the finals of World Universities Debating Championship. If you still don’t think debating is an art, you can stop reading now.

Debates give a solid foundation and pave roads into many areas after graduation. In any faculty, subject, job, business negotiation, hostage negotiation, political agenda, academic or industry, everyone is expected to deliver, communicate, think, make decisions, draw logic statements, impress the customers/bosses, defend your work and rationalize every choice. This soft skill can never be imparted in an individual overnight in any way unless trained and cultivated through activities such as debating or public speaking. In my opinion, industries including businesses, finances, services, firms, medias and others should be made compulsory to support such activities because not only they would giving back to the society but encouraging leaders and graduates with excellent communication skills, whom will subsequently contribute back to the country and economy.

Now that I have given you a light introduction on the history of communication, why communication is the mother of all other forms of art, the problem with effective communication, how debate is an art of persuasion, how debate can help improve qualities of graduates and why industries should support such activities, we go to the last bit of my very own symphony, the conclusion and I’ll try to convince the public and industries to support WUPID (P/S: If you’d notice, I structured my article in a way it has a nice little flow and one paragraph leads to the next point).

The CIMB-World Universities Peace Invitational Debates (WUPID) is a tournament organized by H&G Strategic Communications Sdn Bhd that will be happening in Kuala Lumpur in the month of December. WUPID is where only the Top 30 debating universities are invited and this would mean that only creams of the crop are invited. Some examples of institution that will be attending event : Harvard, Oxford, Cambridge, Monash, Melbourne, National University of Singapore, International Christian University (Japan), Multimedia University (Malaysia), University of Chulalongkorn (Thailand) and Ateneo de Manila (Philippines). I bet there is no other better avenue or place to witness the world’s best speakers in action, outdoing each other to clinch the Champion Title. The tournament would not only promote debating amongst university students but encouraging the public to embrace the skill to communicate effectively. This is an event that encourages the meeting of great minds, exchange of ideas, friendship beyond cultural differences, university students talking about world issues and the making of future leaders. Supporting such a prestigious and beneficial tournament would be good for the society and sends a strong message to everyone that we take good communication seriously.

As a conclusion, debating is not only a fad or an activity you do for a pass in university curricular requirement. You must be thinking right now, should I check out this event or maybe attend it or ask someone about it or should I believe this random girl writing this article. Any how, you already rationalized and debated with yourself. Debating is definitely a way of life and if you take a moment to think about it, I am sure you will realize that we are all born to debate (Remember, when your mom said no but you insisted that you wanted the candy before dinner anyways?). The only difference with our university debating is that we take it up a notch to talk about world issues, creatively compose our speech and confidently express our thoughts while convincingly persuade our audience. Debating is definitely an art of communication in every possible way and a skill that needs to be encouraged in the society. Cheers.

SHOPPING!! Wheeeeee........

Ah, the phrase, the word, the expression, the liberation: SHOPPING! Yes, I am guilty. I went to MidValley today and spent money despite the fuel hike. I managed to dig deep, rationalized, argued and convinced myself to splurge my salary. Sigh. The weakness of being a woman, the sight of nice things and it didn’t help that most of my favorite shops were ON SALE! Double sigh. List of things I saw, I fell in love with but unwillingly stopped myself from buying them:

2 pairs of really nice looking heels in Vincci
A super nice dress and top from PDI
A cool PUMA top
A CARLO RINO handbag

All these are what everyone calls them, the WANTS, and Becca really WANT them! Sob Sob… But I managed to force me self to get what I really NEED: A new pair of running shoes and a pair of sports socks to go with it plus a pretty pink SUNGLASS! (I dropped one of my old sunglasses while trying on the PUMA top. So, ooppsss.. I need a new one!) Hehe. It’s Josh’s birthday this 13th and I am sad I can’t be with him to celebrate it. So, I am sending a birthday package over to Miri, one very expensive package. OK, I am not human trafficking, I think I sound like doing that. I am practically quite broke for the month after spending so much in a day. I hope my parents are not reading this. If not, my petition for petrol subsidy will not make it through *Wink Wink*

I must say shopping is a very nice thing to do and it would be even nicer if you have the unlimited cash to go with it. I wonder how it is like when people say that their hobby is shopping. Do they just window shop like most of us do or do they INVEST into their hobby? It must be a pretty expensive hobby and I agree to certain extent that it’s an acquired skill. Shopping to me is like drug or cigarettes. It’s darn addictive. Now that I’ve tasted the joy and power of purchasing, it’s gonna be quite hard for me to stop. Nevertheless, I have to stop buying more stuff this month or else I’ll be working part time.

-The confession of a self professed shopaholic-

Do What’s Right Vs Do What Makes You Happy

Listening to: Nickleback’s Saving me and This is how you remind me
I can’t believe I am actually writing at 1.27am when I should be partying all night long on a Saturday night/Sunday morning. Yeah right, dream on girl. I have to say that the title to my post is rather interesting (at least to me.. Hehe..) That is one question that’s keeping me wide eyed awake on a lazy weekend. I’ve been stumped on one particular dateline which is really getting on my nerves. So I thought let’s write to forget my dilemma. If all the hurt and anger in this world can be written off in a blog, wouldn’t that be fantastic? Another wishful thinking in Becca’s fantasy realm.

Believe it or not, I suddenly miss my AGOGO (Well, its Zuliana’s term) days or my “younger” days. Ah, how youth was wasted but that was something I pondered hard upon on a calm night while Nickleback’s blasting in my ears. I missed my club outings and doing stuff people would never imagine me doing. I must insist here that I am a complete different individual compared to when I was 18. I have a sudden crave to go clubbing, drink and dance all night long with my friends. When I asked Punitha, Sheena, Chandran and Kit to go clubbing, they laughed it off and asked if I was sick! Well, maybe I’m a bit depressed and stressed but I guess that’s why all my past happy thoughts are popping up like Jack-in-the-box to medicate my soul. I thank God for giving me a good memory or people call it a memory of an elephant. It helped me tremendously in my studies and now I can even recall perfectly what happened in every agogo trips, what I was wearing, who I went with, what I drank, who was my “boyfriend” at which club trip etc. If my parents are reading this, I sure some ballistic missiles will be launched soon from Prai to UM and Joshua will be interrogating me after this. This reminds me of Yunus’s Cluster Munitions motions! I guess that’s the situation I’m gonna be in when I decided to write this.

Listening to: Pussy Cat Doll’s Sway and Buttons
I then thought, should I call up some friends in KL and as Nike says, JUST DO IT. This is where the title of my post came about. Should I do what is right: Stay home, finish my dateline and watch a DVD OR Should I do what I want and would make me very happy now: CLUBBING! As many can guess, I did what was right and what was expected of me. Haha. Here I am writing this entry. I salute people with the will and strength to say: I DON’T CARE, I WANT IT MY WAY! It takes a whole lot of guts to do what would make him/her happy rather than what’s right. At 24 years old, being the oldest sibling, a PhD candidate, being Mr. Ow’s daughter, as someone’s girlfriend and whole lot more “HUGE” label upon me, I did what was right and it’s true, I had no guts to breach the rules and commandments.

Referring to the closing phrase in my last post, I really want to live it out but I guess it stopped being relevant to me when I left the “responsibility free” age group. When we were young, we have an invisible license to do whatever and even if we get caught, we have the immunity: I’m just 17. I’m too young. I need my space. I’m learning. I don’t know. My friends do it, why not me? etc. and everyone would forgive you and you’re still an angel. If I am 18 right now, I would be in a club by now. Sadly, bound by responsibilities and sensibilities, I chose to reminisce on the past and dutifully finish up my work. Well, who says growing up would be fun? Yes, you get your pay check, stay out from mom and dad, dictate your lifestyle and all the grown up stuff. Yet I find myself wishing I was young again and doing things I can’t do now at this age. So, enjoy while you’re young.

Listening to: Rihanna’s Unfaithful and We ride
I do envy friends whom I know still living life as they did back in high school. All things have to end someday they say, and my agogo days ended pretty early. Most of you must be thinking I’m an unhappy person being where I am. To the contrary, I am happy because I know it’s the right thing to do. That makes my loved ones happy. Life is all about making sacrifices and being happy is when everyone else around you is happy. Being able to recall and reminisce about my past is good enough for me. Thank God no one in my family tree has any history of Alzheimer. Hopefully my memory will serve me good til I have grandkids and tell them that their grandma used to party like the world’s ending tomorrow. Hehe.

Bottom line is, everyone have their own set of rules to live by, bound by expectations and judgments. Doing what is right and what makes you happy can be exclusive OR if you’re blessed enough, both can be done at the same time like me! Don’t get me wrong, my life is not perfect. In this case, particularly my clubbing itch, I did what was right and I am happy with my decision. Of course some will say it’s a form of denial but at the end of the day, you yourself dictate whether you are living in denial or not.

Listening to: N Sync’s That girl, Falling and This I promise you
To end this entry, a few words of wisdom from the wise Becca (At least in her own world). Hehe.

1. Live life when you’re still young but make sure you do legal stuff and do it safely!
(Disclaimer: The content in this blog is only the writer’s expression. You should not take it seriously).
2. Be thankful and know what’s right to do in life
3. Sacrifices are necessary in life
4. Think of the consequences of every decision and if you’re up to it, then do it
5. Love yourself before loving others or want others to love you
6. Life is more than yourself; it’s everyone and everything around you
7. Happy doesn’t describe an individual but only exist when it encompasses everything connected to that individual.

Hugs and Kisses to all my friends out there. I hope everyone’s happy and doing well.

“A shout out to: SARAS! Hope to meet up with you soon. Let’s go clubbing but don’t tell Josh. Hehe”

Be happy making the right decision!
Cheers, Becca.

The Prelude.. Not so...

I've not written for quite some time now. I figured why not try starting now but still am not sure how far this blog will go. All things got to have a starting point right? =) Since the day I decided to write online again til this point in time, so much had happened.

Well, the petrol price hike certainly hit pretty hard on most of us and the future is looking a lil bleak right now for many. I am appalled at the obvious fact that this will affect the middle group to the lower income group like badly. Not to mention that this would mean pushing many to point of desperation to feed their young at home. I would not blame them nor would not pass judgment on them because desperate situations call for desperate measures. Like it or not, that’s the circle of life. The survival of the fittest. As the petrol price will be reviewed on a monthly basis, let’s pray and hope for the best.

I was away from my “lab” aka work place for almost 4 full days and coming back was rather crappy. My lazy bones were just so irritating and it’s real hard to start the engine after days of not being in the routine. Not to mention, my mission to faithfully exercise was disrupted too. Hehe. For the 4 days away, I was involved in one of those debate tourneys. It was fun working with my team. Should I mention names here? Yeah, why not. I am glad that Prasad, Yunus and Baby G made this tourney a fun and easy going one. Of course, a lot of others have their 2 cents worth of opinions and all but, all in all I thought we did our best and things were satisfactory.

Life is an amazing concept. At least mine bops up and down like jumping on the trampoline. I guess, that’s what makes life alive. I have loads up in my head to write but for some reasons I am refraining from expressing them. I guess you call them the writer’s block for professionals and I’ll call this my “Blogger’s Block for Becca” (BBB syndrome). Well, not much gonna come out of me with a BBB syndrome. Cheers.

Live life like there’s no tomorrow (Dun take it OVER literally though.. Hehe..)